


Don't Trust the Babysitter

by canadino



Series: babysitting au [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Babysitting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:26:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4443374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadino/pseuds/canadino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or: Shinpachi Learns Every Day What Kind of Man He Doesn't Want to Grow Up To Be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Trust the Babysitter

He saw the girl almost every day for a week now sitting in the park after school. She was probably first grade at best, although she still wore a name tag so she was most likely only in kindergarten. Shinpachi wasn’t that well read on the law, as a mere middle school student, but he was pretty sure that was just as good a case of child neglect that he’d ever seen, ten years be damned. In any case, she was susceptible to any kind of evil adult or pervert sitting on the swings by herself, and it was a miracle she hadn’t been approached by the vagabond who frequently wandered the local parks in sunglasses, but here she was, five days later, sitting obediently on a swing with her bag on the ground next to her. Shinpachi figured she had been told to wait patiently for a guardian, as children free to do as they pleased tended to avoid staying in one place. It was truly fortunate she was still in one piece. He was done being irresponsible and a bad citizen by walking by every afternoon, so today he took a deep breath and approached her. 

“Excuse me,” he said, polite as you please. He was dealing with a child, but it never hurt to be nice. “Are you here waiting for someone?”  


“What’s it to you?” She looked so sweet sitting there in a flowery shirt and cute little shoes, but the words that came out of her mouth were so cruel. The name scrawled in crayon on her name tag said [Kagura].   


“I was just worried since I’ve seen you here by yourself for a few days now. Are you waiting for your parents? You’re not lost are you?”  


“Beat it, cherry boy,” Kagura said. Shinpachi wondered where she learned such language and whether she practiced it. The haughty look on her face suggested she probably muttered it under her breath in the mirror in the bathroom when she was done brushing her teeth and today was the day she was finally able to utter it out loud and in full confidence. “I may be young but I got standards, ya hear?”  


Shinpachi bit his tongue. She must be the kind of kids his sister talked about, the ones raised on television because her parents were never home. It was because of her that Shinpachi didn’t turn out the same way, she always said. Shinpachi would never say it was all because he was the one she made run all the errands all the time, so he was always going back and forth from the store to the house. “I’m Shinpachi,” he said, willing his voice to remain calm. “Do you mind if I wait with you, so you don’t have scary people coming up to you?”

“Ah, I don’t mind, but can you back up those claims?” She was leering at him. Perhaps she had an older sibling, he thought. A delinquent older sibling she looked up to and would hear them say these things and was copying them. Children were like sponges, absorbing everything they liked around them.   


“Who are you waiting for?”  


She was clearly not scaring him off, and her face went from a sneering glare to a deadpan bored expression. “My babysitter,” she said. “He’s always late, so it’s no big deal.”

“He seems pretty mean if he’s leaving you waiting.”  


“He is mean! My mommy used to say a good man would never let a woman spend more than five minutes alone if he’s made plans with her. And he’s mean too because whenever we get ice cream he always takes the bigger half. And sometimes he doesn’t wait for me and walks ahead with his stupid long legs. And if he knows I still have snack money left he nags and nags me until I give it to him. As if Papi isn’t giving him enough to look after me after school!”  


Her complaining made him smile. “It sounds like your dad made a mistake in picking a babysitter. What does your mom say about him?”

Kagura kicked her legs back and forth, making the swing rock slowly. “My mommy’s in heaven now, so she hasn’t said anything yet.”

“Oh.” It didn’t feel right to apologize to a child about that sort of thing. “Well…my mom and dad are in heaven too, so my older sister’s looking out for me. She’s an adult now but she can’t really cook, so sometimes she asks for my snack money too.”  


Kagura grinned at him, revealing sparkly white teeth. “When I grow up, I’m gonna fly into the sky and force heaven to open up so I can say hi to her again. I don’t really remember too much about her, but I know she was really pretty and nice.” She began describing her late mother in great detail as Shinpachi noticed a high school boy walk into view and spot them. The boy hopped the fence from the street into the playground and started coming toward them. It made Shinpachi nervous; the boy looked like a typical delinquent with messy hair and his tie loose around his neck and his shirt half unbuttoned. He decided - he’d tell Kagura to run for it and if the boy started chasing them, he’d sacrifice himself so she could get to safety. 

"Kagura,” Shinpachi said quietly, interrupting her long monologue about her mother. “When I tell you, start running away in the opposite direction. There’s a scary boy coming toward us.”

“Who?” Kagura turned to the direction Shinpachi was looking and suddenly leapt off the swing. Before he could tell her that he hadn’t given her a signal, she began sprinting toward the strange boy. “Gin!” she screamed. “That boy came up to me out of nowhere and started saying weird things to me!”  


“Could you not put it like that?” She was hanging onto the scary boy, who had bent down to ruffle her hair. It seemed he meant her no harm, so Shinpachi collected her book bag as well and walked carefully over to the two. “Um, and you are?”  


“I’m the defender of innocent girls against pedophiles and lolicons,” the high school boy said. “Put your hands up and we’re gonna march you to the police box.”  


“Police box, police box!” Kagura chirped, as if she had not been happily chatting with him only a moment before.  


“Hold on! I’m not a pedophile! I’m only ten years old.” The high school boy did not seem particularly serious about his threat; he didn’t seem particularly serious at all. “Kagura, you just left your bag behind. You’ll lose all your things if you’re careless like that.” He handed her the bag, which she took from him.  


“Okay, mom,” she said. “Hey Gin, he called you a ‘scary boy’. Isn’t he a total wimp?”  


Shinpachi put everything together. “You’re the babysitter?”

“Who are you?”  


“Call him Glasses,” Kagura said. She was hanging off the boy like a little sister. She’d said all those things against him, but it seemed pretty clear she was very attached to him. “I think his real name is Pachi or something, but call him Glasses.”  


“Don’t call me Glasses. It’s Shinpachi. Shinpachi Shimura.” He bowed politely to the high school boy. “It’s nice to meet you.”  


“Nice to meet you, Glasses,” the boy said. “Call me Gin.”  


Shinpachi tried not to act too perturbed about how the new nickname had caught on. “Is that really your name?”

“Sakata Gintoki,” Kagura enunciated.   


“Kagura,” Gintoki enunciated back. They struck a pose. “At your service!” they yelled at the same time.   


“I’ll just be going now,” Shinpachi said.   


\- He said that, but his principles wouldn’t let him walk away. As Gintoki took Kagura’s hand in his and started leaving the park, Shinpachi ran after him in spite of himself and gave him an earful of how a responsible babysitter ought not to leave their charge alone, especially such a young girl like Kagura. He himself didn’t need a babysitter because his sister thought he was old enough to walk home and not follow strangers, but did Gintoki know what kinds of bad people lurked the streets? “Okay, okay,” Gintoki said, leaning back to avoid getting shouted at by Shinpachi. Kagura watched him curiously from behind Gintoki. “Okay, look, kid…who are you? I don’t need to be lectured by a kid like you. I’m sixteen, okay?”

“You’re sixteen? You’re practically an adult!” Gintoki grinned, but Shinpachi did not mean it like a compliment. “Then you should know better! Even though I’m younger than you, I know you’re not supposed to leave a kid in a park by themselves!”  


“You really think I’m a bad babysitter?”  


“Yeah, I do!”  


“Then why don’t you follow me to make sure I’m not being a bad adult? Or really, you can come and see what a real man is all about!” Gintoki gave him a wide smile Shinpachi saw only on the bad kids in his class. It was the kind of smile that meant no good. “And then show me where you live, so I can ask your sister to pay me for looking after you.”  


“I don’t need anyone to look after me,” Shinpachi said indignantly. “But I will come along to make sure Kagura doesn’t get hurt.”  


Gintoki, for his initial neglect and rowdy behavior, was not that terrible of an adult. He matched his stride so Kagura wasn’t running despite being considerably taller than her, and he made sure she was crossing the crosswalk with him even though she had looked both ways and wanted to dart across the street. He had offered his hand to Shinpachi too, who refused it. Then -  “Kagura,” Gintoki said suddenly. “Assume formation B.”

“B!” Kagura echoed. They stopped right in their tracks and Shinpachi did too, caught in the flow. They were about to walk onto the main road, and right on the sidewalk was a group of girls in high school uniforms, grouped together and talking. They had yet to turn the corner but the girls were right in their line of vision. “Now?”  


“Now,” Gintoki nodded. Kagura stumbled forward, looking as if she were about to fall, before wobbling over to the girls in a suspiciously babyish manner. Gintoki’s face was absolutely devious. Shinpachi frowned.   


“I’m lost!” Kagura cried. “I’m lost and I’m so scared!” The girls looked over at her immediately and she wobbled right into the legs of one of the girls before grabbing it as if to keep balance. She gazed up at the girl, who had a cigarette in her mouth that she put out before bending down. “I’m lost and I got separated from my really hot and cute babysitter.”  


“Did you now?” Now that she was facing them, Shinpachi saw a scar stretch across the girl’s face; in spite of that, she was by no means ugly. In fact, the troubled look on her face as she turned to the other girls worked to soften her expression, which naturally looked hardened as if she had been through battle. “What should we do?”  


“There’s a police box nearby, isn’t there?” one of the other girls offered. “Let’s take her there. Does she have any number we can call?”  


“Ladies,” Gintoki declared, stepping out from behind the corner, and Shinpachi scrambled up after him. He had a sneaking suspicion about what this was about, but he didn’t want to be left behind. “Have you seen a little girl about yea high? I’m supposed to be looking after her and - oh, Kagura, there you are!”  


“Gin!” Kagura cried, almost pitifully, and she separated herself from the girl and ran up to Gin, who scooped her up into his arms.   


“Sakata,” the girl with the scar said. “I didn’t know you babysat after school. I could have sworn you were in the Go Home Immediately Club, since you sleep all through class.”  


“You wound me, Tsu-ki,” Gintoki protested, although he didn’t look unhappy in the slightest. Shinpachi looked at him then at the girl then back at him. “I’m a very responsible guy. Just look at me; two families entrusted their dear children with me.” He wrapped his other hand around Shinpachi’s shoulders, holding him tightly despite the way Shinpachi started squirming. Kagura had her arms around Gintoki’s neck.   


“Maybe I underestimated you,” the girl said.  


“They were white, by the way,” Kagura whispered, her voice carrying. The small smile on the girl’s face wiped itself off instantly.   


“Sakata,” the girl said, her fingers stretching and cracking. “Are you up to no good? I won’t forgive you if you teach this little girl bad things.”  


“Well, damn, look at the time,” Gintoki said (”Language!” the girl admonished.). “I’d love to stay and chat, but it’s time for these kiddies’ naps.” The girl was starting to advance on them, rubbing her hands together, and suddenly Shinpachi felt an arm snake around his back and he was lifted up on Gintoki’s shoulder. “Hold on tight, Glasses!” Gintoki yelled before taking off down the sidewalk. Shinpachi shouted but at the speed they were going, there was nothing he could do but grab onto the back of Gintoki’s blazer and hold on for dear life. He could hear Kagura’s laughter from Gintoki’s other side. The girl followed them for only a few paces before stopping, and before she was completely too far to be seen, Shinpachi saw her laugh for only a moment before letting them go.   


To compensate Kagura’s efforts, Gintoki took them to a convenience store for ice cream. “I can’t believe you used Kagura to look at girls’ underwear,” Shinpachi complained as Kagura was sent inside to buy the goods. “That’s a totally childish thing to do.”

“So you go around looking at your girl classmates’ underwear, Glasses? That’s so bold of you.”  


“No! I’m just saying you don’t act your age at all.”  


Kagura came back outside with a large popsicle and a small carton of expensive ice cream. “I had snack money,” she said when Gintoki stared at her. “I used what was left over from what you gave me to buy yours.” She walked away humming with no intention of sharing. 

“What a brat,” Gintoki muttered, tearing open the wrapper of his ice cream. He bit off the top part of the ice cream before handing the rest of it to Shinpachi. “Here you go, Pachi. Just so you can’t say I’m a bad, terrible, no good adult. I’m sharing.”  


“I have my own allowance,” Shinpachi grumbled, but he took the popsicle anyway. Gintoki crunched away all of his mouthful before taking off after Kagura to weasel a spoonful from her. The popsicle stick said [winner!] after Shinpachi took the last bite and Kagura had finished all of hers in an effort to keep Gintoki from taking any more. He tugged on Gintoki’s sleeve. “Yours had a winner on it.”

“Whoa! Look, Kagura! Have you ever seen a winner stick before?”  


“Wow! It’s perfect for Glasses, since he had no money to give me to buy ice cream for him.”  


“You probably would have used up all of his for yours too. But you’re right, it’s perfect for Glasses.” They took Kagura home as Shinpachi continued holding the winner. Kagura’s house was surprisingly large; it seemed her family could afford buying a better babysitter for her than a mere high school student. Still, when Kagura kissed Gintoki on the chin and he let her with a goofy look on his face, there was probably not enough money in the world her father could pay for his daughter to look that happy with anyone else. She ran into her house with her brother, who had been playing outside, at her heels, him jeering at her the whole time.   


“Here,” Shinpachi said, as they walked away from Kagura’s house. “It was yours, so you should have it.” He held out the popsicle stick.  


“Huh? I forgot about it already.” Gintoki looked at it with apathy. “I’m not going to get into a fight with a kid about a popsicle stick. Keep it. It’s yours. I gave it to you.”   


“No way! Then you’ll say I’m just a kid. Don't you like sweets anyway? Kagura was saying you steal her snack money to buy sweets for yourself.”  


“Is that what she said? I love sweets, but keep that gross stick. You got your slobber all over it.”  


“I did not!” Shinpachi managed to wrestle the stick into Gintoki’s hands. “Keep it and stop being a bad kid.”  


“I’m totally not a kid!” Gintoki made a face at the stick. “Fine, I’ll keep it, but I won’t like it. What about you, Pachi? Need me to walk you home or something? Got any bad people out there to get you?”  


“I’m - I’m fine!” Shinpachi flushed at the way Gintoki mimicked his earlier lecture. “I’ll probably go home faster than you would anyway. You’ll probably take me along to find more girls.”   


“Sure, sure,” Gintoki said, pulling Shinpachi’s bag’s straps further up his shoulders. “Come on, don’t be losing all your things. Your shoe’s untied. Look both ways before crossing the street.”  


“I know.” Shinpachi bent down to tie his shoe and Gintoki did not leave him as he thought he would. “Uh, Gin?”  


“Yeah?”  


“Do…do you mind if I followed you again next week? Just to make sure you’re not making Kagura do any more bad things for you like look up girls’ skirts. You two need someone to make sure you don’t get in any trouble.” Shinpachi squeezed his eyes shut and waited for Gintoki to laugh at him or tease him for wanting to tag along after complaining. But he didn’t hear any laughter and only felt a hand on his head, mussing up the way Shinpachi had combed his hair down in the morning.  


“Sure thing, Pachi. Just yell for me if you can’t find me.”   


When Shinpachi was taking out his books from his bag, he found the popsicle stick lodged in a crevice between his pencil case and the side of the bag. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again. I really want to read more gen fics of Gin being a pampering tsun guy to the kids. I love that family dynamic. But he would totally use them also for his benefit. Thanks for reading!


End file.
